The incredible life of my sister, Lucky and me, Roxy Dragon Pebbles, otherwise known as The Devil Dog. I have no idea what I did to deserve that name! Honest! Just because I'm a black dog doesn't mean I'm naughty dog.
This is the gap mom and dad say I slip through to get onto the porch, tip over the garbage can and go to town.
Seriously, do you actually think that I am that intelligent and devious that I can get onto the back porch, tip the garbage can over, eat whatever I want and then get back into the kitchen so that when mom comes home I am in my bed? With my sister?
Mom received a really nice compliment from her teacher last night in class.
Mom told her partner that she did a nice job on something and mom's partner said something to mom's teacher who said "That's why people feel good after working out with Mrs. (Mom)." Mom was sort of stunned. It was such a huge compliment. From a man of few words. It was one of those "treasure the moment" moments.
PlusOne thinks that since I sleep on the top of the sofa cushions, Lucky needs to as well. Since Lucky rarely jumps on the sofa, PlusOne put her on the top of the cushions. Where she promptly fell asleep.
I guess I may have to share now. Well, I guess the sofa is big enough.
Mom learns the results of her last test today. She probably passed, but she knows she did two stupid things. She didn't pick up an attack correctly when her partner attacked her incorrectly, and she thought she was doing one basic wrong so she changed it. Lack of confidence and stupidity, because she was doing it correctly. Oh well, you know mom, she worries about whether or not the sun will come up in the morning.
These are the new guns that Mr. Karate bought for himself and mom. Mr. Karate took the bright green one. They gave the mini guns to dad, who joined in unexpectedly, getting mom right on the side of the head. These shoot the "bullets" really far. Mom and Mr. Karate laugh hysterically while playing this. PlusOne alternatively takes turns going against mom and then against Mr. Karate. He's no fool. Lucky and I are smart. We just stay out of the way.
Funny thing, though, I don't know who is having more fun. PlusOne, Mr. Karate, or mom!
Mom's second test is tomorrow morning, 8:30 am sharp. She has to run 20 minutes, do 60 sit-ups and 40 push-ups. Except mom can't do 40 push-ups yet. Her shoulder is getting better, but it is slow going. After all, she doesn't want to hurt it again. Mom can do 20 push-ups though and she is really happy about that.
Mom will have to do two forms (Short Two and Long Two), the Finger Set (showcases the methods of execution) and eight techniques. Two of the techniques are weapon techniques. One knife and one gun.
The test will be over at 9:45 am. Mom won't know how she did for another week. Sigh. But as mom says, as team leader, failure is not an option.
Okay class, we are now in session. As promised, we will take on the challenges of toilet paper and child proof safety locks. First, toilet paper. If your mom and dad are like mine, and have the toilet paper hanging like this, you have it made.
Especially if you can do this.
Notice paw placement, this is a very important part of both lessons, so remember it. Because mom hangs the toilet paper the way she does, it is very easy to put my paws on the roll and roll it downward. Or you can just grab it in your mouth and run away.
However, bringing the toilet paper straight to your bed is not a good idea.
Being caught with the toilet paper in your mouth is an even worse idea.
And no "I'm innocent" look will work here, either. Trust me on this.
The indignant look doesn't work either. As for child proof safety locks, well, Titus my friend, you should have this one in the bag. Return to that pose I showed you earlier (I told you it would be important) put your paw on the white thing sticking out of the door, and push down. Or drop your paws, both will work.
The door will swing open and all it needs is a good nudge to get it open enough for you to climb in and "go to town".
Or as PlusOne would say "Eh voila!"
I hope you enjoyed the lessons, and I appreciate all your faith in my innocence despite the overwhelming "evidence" to the contrary.