Okay class, we are now in session. As promised, we will take on the challenges of toilet paper and child proof safety locks. First, toilet paper. If your mom and dad are like mine, and have the toilet paper hanging like this, you have it made.

Especially if you can do this.

Notice paw placement, this is a very important part of both lessons, so remember it. Because mom hangs the toilet paper the way she does, it is very easy to put my paws on the roll and roll it downward. Or you can just grab it in your mouth and run away.

However, bringing the toilet paper straight to your bed is not a good idea.

Being caught with the toilet paper in your mouth is an even worse idea.

And no "I'm innocent" look will work here, either. Trust me on this.

The indignant look doesn't work either. As for child proof safety locks, well, Titus my friend, you should have this one in the bag. Return to that pose I showed you earlier (I told you it would be important) put your paw on the white thing sticking out of the door, and push down. Or drop your paws, both will work.

The door will swing open and all it needs is a good nudge to get it open enough for you to climb in and "go to town".

Or as
PlusOne would say "Eh voila!"
I hope you enjoyed the lessons, and I appreciate all your faith in my innocence despite the overwhelming "evidence" to the contrary.