Thursday, March 12, 2009

Thursday Thirteen

Guess what? Yesterday was MY BIRTHDAY! I turned FIVE yesterday.



And my mom forgot all about it! Can you believe that? So in honor of that grievous error, here are the Thirteen Things I am going to do to torture my mother because she forgot my birthday.

1) Poop on the floor in the bathroom so she steps in it when she gets out of the shower.

2) Keep her awake all night by bunny kicking her or pushing her out of bed.

3) Use her head for whapping target practise.

4) Barf up all my food right before she leaves for work, making her clean it up and be late for work.

5) Bark at everyone and everything.

6) Escape from the back yard. Maybe go see Monty.

7) Not come in when she takes me out. Do you know how hard it is to find a black dog in a big yard in the DARK?

8) Eat her supper when she's not looking.

9) Chew her purse, her thumb drive her cell phone and all her pens.

10) Run away from her when it is time for bed

11) Sleep with PlusOne instead of her.

12) Totally ignore her and only sit on dad.

13) Pee on the bed (her side), or on her karate gi.

What do you think? Is that enough torture for her forgetting my FIFTH birthday?

30 comments:

Cheysuli and gemini said...

She forgot?! And after you had such an example of how disheartening that was with me?!

I shall bring you a ham to make you feel better.

Jemima Jones Beck said...

Horrible! How could she? But maybe you shouldn't do anything bad just incase she brings you something to make up for her memory lapse tomorrow!
Jemima Jones Beck

Jemima Jones Beck said...

Horrible! How could she? But maybe you shouldn't do anything bad just incase she brings you something to make up for her memory lapse tomorrow!
Jemima Jones Beck

Suzuki said...

Happy belated Barkday Roxy!
Big licks to you
Suzuki
xxx

Chase said...

Aww Roxy, Happy Belated Birthday. I think all of those things you have planned will definitely put your Mommy into place. I like the rabbit kick one...I should try that out when my mommy is sleepin'.

Licks and sniffs,
Chase

Pugsley said...

OMG!! That is ALOT of torture!! Don't be too hard on your mom, they forget stuff sometimes:(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I hope your mom gets u a BIG doggie birthday cake:)

XOXOXO
Pugsley

Pearl said...

Happy late Barkday, Roxy girl! You don't look a DAY over 4!!

I would just pick one of those things and do it to your Momma. You don't want to over-do it, or she might cut back on the treatables!

Melissa and Emmitt said...

hi roxy!

happy 5th birthday! we love you!

xoxox
m & e

Rachel said...

I dunno, Roxy - I think if all that torture ensues she'll be even more likely to "forget" your sixth birthday. I'd play it safe and hold out for next year.

Lone Star Purrs said...

Happy Beleated Purrfday!!! Your's is the same day as owr Poppie's! Hopefully yur Momma will makeit up to you in a big way.
::purrs::
~Meeko & Kiara

The McGray Lads, Gandalf and Grayson said...

Happy Birthday! We are very sorry your Mom is so forgetful. Perhaps 13 punishments is just a bit too harsh, being that she did remember to feed you and all.

Lex said...

Happy Birthday Roxy!

I would pick one of those, the rest would just be overkill.

Indy can get up and down there very easily, but it's really steep and not so easy for me since I am usually wearing my slippers or the hubbys sandals! lol

The Meezers said...

after sleeping wif PlusOne for a while, run into her room and BARKBARKBARK and then run out when she wakes up. Lather, rinse, repeat efurry hour. That should make her totally insane by morning. - Sammy

HAPPY PURRFDAY A DAY LATE ROXY!!!!!

Daisy said...

Happy belated birthday, Roxy! I think you should just ask for extra treats and toys and kisses to make up for this terrible oversight.

Sandra y Coco said...

Happy belated birthday, Roxy!!! Coco does some of those things to me and I never forget his birthday!

Brill said...

LOL
Happy birthday !
My favourite(?) punishment is #7, I totally feel that one x

Anonymous said...

Dad remembered...

PlusOne gave her extra supper, with added bacon treats!

someone also slept sideways last night, pushing Mom & Dadzilla out of bed at 3 AM!

Devil Dog Dad

castle diva said...

Happy belated b'day, Roxy!!!!! I can't believe she forgot your birthday. That is soooo sad. I'm turning five in the summer, but because I'm a rescue diva, we don't know the date I was born.

I'm thinking maybe you should hold off on the torture and make her feel good and guilty. Be your sweet self. Actually, maybe go for extra sweet so you can milk this for more treats.

Purrs,
Cinza

PS To cheer you up I'm sending you this link. Not for ideas, but as a laugh. Don't forget your Mom loves you lots and lots.

http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2009/03/09/chimp-stones.html?ref=rss

PSS Ms. P sends her birthday greetings and suggests that every so often you give your Mom the "I'm so hurt how can you do this to me after I gave you the best years of my life?" look.

Angus Mhor said...

What was she THINKING, Roxy? I know, she was whingeing on about the snow, wasn't she? Or she was practicing her karate. Or she was workin' on her sewin' room. Or she was payin' attention to PlusONE +1..but NOT to the fact that the most talented black pug in the whole DOGIVERSE was havin' her 5th birthday. Just go snort in her face...when she's laughin'.

Angus Mhor said...

What was she THINKING, Roxy? I know, she was whingeing on about the snow, wasn't she? Or she was practicing her karate. Or she was workin' on her sewin' room. Or she was payin' attention to PlusONE +1..but NOT to the fact that the most talented black pug in the whole DOGIVERSE was havin' her 5th birthday. Just go snort in her face...when she's laughin'.

Pearl and Daisy said...

Hmmm...yeah, those are really good ideas. We'd also ask for more food.

Happy Birthday Roxy!

Pug love from,
Pearl & Daisy

Lois Lane/Laney said...

BOL! You are good at thinking up ways to torture her!
But maybe she'll give you a yummy treat, if you don't.
Either way, Happy Birthday!! :D

Mickey,Georgia , Tillie said...

Hahahahahahaha!!!!! That is quite a list Roxy :)
Happy 5th Birthday!!!!
You might not want to do all those things because it would not be fun to be grounded ;)
Demanding attention sounds like it would be more profitable ;)
Purrs Mickey

Fat Eric said...

She FORGOT??? That is terrible! Happy belated birthday, Roxy - you deserve many many treats!

Fat Eric said...

She FORGOT??? That is terrible! Happy belated birthday, Roxy - you deserve many many treats!

Tibby said...

I can't believe your mom forgot your birthday! And your fifth one too! Everyone knows that's the most important one you'll have this year! I hope you don't have to do all those things before she smartens up and gets you some pawsome birthday gifts!
:) Tibby
PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Tweedles -- that's me... said...

Roxy,, i am singing,,,,,,
Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday my dear friend Roxy ,,, happy birthday to you!
xoxoox
tweedles

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Oh, no! We missed singing on your actual birthday by 8 minutes.

Happy birthday to you-ooooo.
Happy birthday to you-oooo.
Happy birthday, dear Roxy-oooo.
Happy birthday to you-oooo.

Karen Jo said...

Happy Belated Birthday, Roxy. I don't think that torturing your Mom because she forgot your birthday is a really good idea. Give her the pitiful look instead.

The Furry Kids said...

Happy belated Birthday!!!

Those all seem like reasonable things to do. The punishment must fit the crime, you know.

Your pal,
Titus