Thursday, September 3, 2009

Class Is Now In Session - Lesson Four

Okay class, we are now in session. As promised, we will take on the challenges of toilet paper and child proof safety locks. First, toilet paper. If your mom and dad are like mine, and have the toilet paper hanging like this, you have it made.

Especially if you can do this.

Notice paw placement, this is a very important part of both lessons, so remember it. Because mom hangs the toilet paper the way she does, it is very easy to put my paws on the roll and roll it downward. Or you can just grab it in your mouth and run away.

However, bringing the toilet paper straight to your bed is not a good idea.

Being caught with the toilet paper in your mouth is an even worse idea.

And no "I'm innocent" look will work here, either. Trust me on this.

The indignant look doesn't work either. As for child proof safety locks, well, Titus my friend, you should have this one in the bag. Return to that pose I showed you earlier (I told you it would be important) put your paw on the white thing sticking out of the door, and push down. Or drop your paws, both will work.

The door will swing open and all it needs is a good nudge to get it open enough for you to climb in and "go to town".

Or as PlusOne would say "Eh voila!"

I hope you enjoyed the lessons, and I appreciate all your faith in my innocence despite the overwhelming "evidence" to the contrary.


Cheysuli and gemini said...

The childproof lock was an excellent lesson. I am not sure I can grasp it as a cat--however as my humans have no children to proof the house for I am in luck...

Stubby said...

Hi Roxy! You are such a little trouble maker. I have to admit that I have never been interested in toilet paper. Maybe there is something wrong with me.

You look very innocent in your bed with the evidence in your mouth. Too bad you can't point your paw to Lucky and say that she did it.

Stubby xoxo

Aniemother said...

Great tips. We all know you've been framed. Manufacturing evidence is no problem in our modern times.

Tee hee..


The Meezers said...

great tips. But Roxy, we really can't haf toilet paper trailing the weiner-mobile on the hams of the werld tour, so be careful!

Salinger The Pug said...

Roxy, you are an evil GENIUS!

Hmmm...I'm not familiar with this "toilet paper" that you speak of, but I do believe there may be some in various places in the house.

I'll investigate and let you know if your lessons worked for me!



Monty Q. Kat said...

Um. Damn. o_0

Pearl said...

GREAT LESSON Roxy! I plan on attempting this tonight!

I'll keep you posted on my progress....

Kelley Carey MacDonald said...

You are BRILLIANT. Now let's do Tiffany's...
xoxox Paco

Rosie said...

Yup - I do that one too - but the hoomans got smart and started putting the roll on the sink counter top which I can't reach - any tips for that one???

Melissa and Emmitt said...

you are my hero!

i am taking notes! i will memorize them and then eat the note.

over and out ~


Fred said...

Notes taken! Going to start the espearmint now!

Dory and the Mama said...

Way COOL Roxy!! I so know how I will spend my Friday now!! That toilet paper running looks like FUN!!


I mean I am so sure that was NOT you that transported the unknown white paper to your bed.


Nevis said...

Roxy...great lessons as always.

Btw, I think Coco has been using your lessons wisely if you've read his blog!

The Furry Kids said...

Roxy, I think I love you. I'm more of a TP shredder, but that unrolling thing looks pretty darn fun. And that childproof lock lesson was magnifique!!! (I think that's how that's spelled - Mom only took German and Latin) You are a true genius. Thank you thank you thank you!!! I will practice tomorrow. hehe

Your pal,

Ali said...

Love this post - such TP glee!!

I miss you!


Jeanne said...

This dog is too darn smart. The only thing to stop her is a nice big crate. Of course she would figure out how to get out of that too. Mom
Go see my blog, some new things on it.

Karen Jo said...

You are a doggy genius, Roxy. It is obvious that you are smarter than the average child.

Lex said...

I wish Gus would eat toilet paper. He likes the bathroom garbage instead! ew!

YOu are so funny and smart Roxy :)