This is me.
This is me exerting myself.
This is the gap mom and dad say I slip through to get onto the porch, tip over the garbage can and go to town.
Seriously, do you actually think that I am that intelligent and devious that I can get onto the back porch, tip the garbage can over, eat whatever I want and then get back into the kitchen so that when mom comes home I am in my bed? With my sister?
Evidence! I demand evidence!