Thursday Thirteen Ponderings

Thirteen (plus or minus ten) ponderings a co-worker gave mom to share with everyone.

1) Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottle of Evian water? Try spelling EVIAN backwards: NAÏVE

2) Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3) OK – so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the ‘Jags’ and the Tamp Bay Buccaneers are know as the ‘Bucs’, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4) If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

5) If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

6) If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

7) Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?

8) Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who races a race car not called a racist?

9) Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

10) If lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

11) If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

12) Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

13) What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

14) I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me… they’re cramming for their final exam.

15) I thought about how mother’s feed their baby with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mother’s use? Toothpicks?

16) Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their picture on the postage stamps so the mailman can look for them while they deliver the mail?

17) If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

18) You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

19) Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

20) If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out her nose?

21) Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

22) At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words ‘THE’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells…. ‘THEIRS’?