Thursday, October 16, 2008

Thursday Thirteen Ponderings

Thirteen (plus or minus ten) ponderings a co-worker gave mom to share with everyone.

1) Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottle of Evian water? Try spelling EVIAN backwards: NAÏVE

2) Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3) OK – so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the ‘Jags’ and the Tamp Bay Buccaneers are know as the ‘Bucs’, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4) If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

5) If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

6) If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

7) Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?

8) Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who races a race car not called a racist?

9) Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

10) If lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

11) If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

12) Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

13) What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

14) I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me… they’re cramming for their final exam.

15) I thought about how mother’s feed their baby with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mother’s use? Toothpicks?

16) Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their picture on the postage stamps so the mailman can look for them while they deliver the mail?

17) If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

18) You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

19) Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

20) If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out her nose?

21) Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

22) At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words ‘THE’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells…. ‘THEIRS’?

16 comments:

Gemini and Ichiro said...

Hmm... but did you know you can't drink Coke at a Pepsi factory? We knew someone who worked at Pepsi.. :)

Karen Jo said...

I loved your ponderings. The answer to #17 is to help you, of course.

Pug(s) and Bugg said...

We love these! Mom asks- do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Nevis said...

I'm totally with you on #2. I am almost to the point where I refuse to eat in a restaurant where someone is smoking because it tastes like I'm eating smoke. It's disgusting. I really don't know how restaurants can in all conscious still allow customers to smoke inside. Alas, I live in the South.

Lone Star Purrs said...

Heehee. We agrees wif all of them!! We's not shur about the milk, but Momma's coffee almost camed owt HER nose!
::purrs::
~Meeko & Kiara

seriously amused said...

What a great list! Thanks for posting this.

I don't know about the rest of Canada, but in Toronto smoking is not allowed in restaurants anymore.

A lot of people weren't happy when the law came into effect, but I was glad because no one should have to pay for the honour of inhaling second hand smoke as they eat.

J

Daisy said...

I laughed and laughed at number 15!

We're lucky that there is no smoking in Florida restaurants.

The WriggleButts said...

Tee hee hee...

Bajas

Anonymous said...

There is no smoking in doors in BC, thank god. Going to Vegas was a bit of an eye opener. :)
Did you know croutons can get stale-r??? In a really gross way? lol
Those were funny!

Lux said...

Those are funny!

Goodboy Norman Featherstone said...

LOL! Those are some pretty funny thoughts!

Mickey's Musings said...

That made Mom laugh :) She said it reminds her of Laugh-In. I'm not sure what that is ;)
Purrs Mickey

Frances Louise said...

Pretty neat ponderings!

Archie and Melissa said...

hi roxy , lucky and mom!
what a great post!
it made us laugh.
:) m & e

Puglette said...

LOL! Thanks for sharing. Hubby says pugs are disgruntled too.
:o)
Hugs,
Puglette

LuckyG said...

HA! Great ones!